Last week we went deep into the fact that most of what we know is objectively not true. Many of the things we convince ourselves of are lies.
There are very few things you actually have to do, yet we run around doing important things that aren’t important. We have strong feelings about irrelevant problems and we stress out about unstressful situations.
Earlier in this series we also touched on why everyone is wrong.
It is not natural to doubt ourselves but it is something that could make us a lot more sensible.
“I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.”
Elon Musk
Every memory and every decision was based on things we thought were true but probably weren’t. This doesn’t mean we should give up on our shambles of a life, instead remain wide open to the idea we are wrong and be willing to change course.
When it feels like things are going wrong and your life turns upside down, we can be grateful for the lessons we will learn. We can culture excitement for how things will fall into place in surprising and often better ways.
The other useful element about this realising we know hardly anything is how we think about other people.
Adults are old babies
As well as being more humble about ourselves. We should also radically lower our expectations of others.
Everyone is running around with their own narrow-minded beliefs getting irate about things that don’t matter and joyous about other things which also don’t matter.
“You know, when you get old, you see that everything is a joke. All the things you were passionate about don't mean a thing. You only did them to keep busy.”
― Erica Jong
It’s liberating to accept that everyone is just a silly human making stuff up as they go along. They possess an irrational amount of certainty in their deluded ideas.
Whatever they declare is ‘important’ or a ‘requirement’ is probably neither.
We were all born with nothing and any emotional ties to the concept that we own anything clashes with the only truth that matters. We are hurtling toward our death very fast and we can’t take anything with us.
After that, the Universe also isn’t going to hang around forever…
“The universe as we know it will dissipate into a fine mist of cold nothingness eventually.”
Elon Musk
So instead of thinking of people as wise or coherent, we can look at them as possibly knowing something that might help us be less dumb.
Try to remember that humans are illogical and assume we are all f#cking insane. That includes you, that includes me.
We are bat-shit bonkers.
Think of your fellow humans as merely well-aged babies with basic emotions and little control. They are at the constant mercy of how they want to feel and they are under-equipped to see the truth in most situations.
(For myself I’ve found the best thing to make myself do things in a more ‘adult way’ is to treat myself like a child. Talk to myself like I’m dumb and really work out why want to do something or not do it and which of my emotions are pulling me in other directions.)
Why am I beating this point to death?
Liberation.
Power games
It is better to live with curiosity and boldness instead of submissive reverence for our peers.
When we lose some respect for others we can reduce their power over us.
That attractive person / celebrity / boss etc…
Any person you hold admiration and awe for may or may not have some great qualities. They are still an idiot.
Any control someone has over your feelings can be reduced. Whether you feel attraction, respect, or fear you can still play it cool by acknowledging that they are a basic human that is just muddling through their life.
At a fundamental level, all their actions are simply part of their strategy to find happiness. They are tripping over themselves daily.
People look like they have a much better life than they really do.
People are posting pictures of when they're really happy, they are modifying those pictures to be better looking, even if they are not modifying the pictures they are at least selecting the pictures for the best lighting, the best angle.
So if you look at everyone on Instagram you might think man there are all these happy beautiful people
When in fact those people you think are super happy; actually — not that happy.
How many things can you buy that you really love? That really give you joy, so rare, so rare.
Elon Musk
We can’t buy happiness, yet we sacrifice so much of our short life for money.
We get annoyed about the things in the way of our happiness. Yet we miss the fact that anger and frustration are crappy emotional states to be in, blocking us from the goal we seek.
(Sometimes we are even frustrated by outcomes we actually want - see problems you want to have)
The unsubtle art of not giving a fuck
So a key element to achieving “the art of not giving a fuck” is not respecting people.
Not letting anyone have control over us.
Not thinking anyone is above us in any way.
Not caring what someone thinks about us when our strategy for happiness doesn’t match theirs.
Not worshipping some idiot for making slightly less of a mess of their life than someone else.
“I’m not that happy… I don't think you'd necessarily want to be me.”
Elon Musk
If you don’t give a fuck, you can do what you want, and the less subtle the better.
There is nothing stopping you from being the most interesting person in the world, besides your own fear of trying.
Feel free to quote Elon Musk as much or as little as you want, even when a better quote would be more appropriate because it doesn’t matter. Either way, you’re going to die.
Now go be weird.
Yours
- Mr Sam
- Bonus -
Possibly the most sensible thing on the internet this week.