I 🍻
I used to enjoy being wasted.
Losing myself in the moment, wallowing in pure content.
Necking beers and toasting cheers, with fun our only intent.
The broken blurs racing by, another night, another high.
As the night slid sideways, my soul would dance,
It came alive, shaking with the bass.
Eventually, the crew would split fiveways, the next day I’d wake,
wide grinning, all over my face.
- -
Then one day, I became older and wiser.
An awareness seeped over me pointing out my follies. Perhaps being out of control and not remembering half my evenings was lacking something. Waking up with a massive hangover and an empty pocket became increasingly painful and inconvenient and decidedly less funny.
Instead, a more sober evening where I would still be happy to dance felt perfectly nice. I have nothing to prove, I knew ‘I could’ drink faster than anyone but lost the desire to do it. The gift of waking up with more money and time to do things during the day created a weekend to actually play with.
What joy!
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It doesn’t mean I am wiser than any one person who chooses to get wasted. It can only mean I am wiser within myself for my own situation.
Hell, I might even be wrong.
II 🌎
When I used to travel, I revelled in seeing as many places as quickly as possible.
The world is so large and there is so little time.
I excitedly stuffed new countries into my passport with the same haste that I stuffed the items into my backpack to leave. After a few nights in one place, I’d be dashing off to a new country.
Every land held the suspense of finding new fruits I’d never seen before. The possibility that my top 5 fruits, or top 5 anything, wasn’t the static list it had been for my entire life blew my mind.
Exploring new frontiers, seeking fresh sights, mysterious people, unique smells and distinct rhythms.
Oh, what bliss to harvest the bounty of new frontiers.
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Now quite frankly, I can’t be arsed with all this dashing about lark.
Moving all the time is beyond me, the hassle, the pain. Repacking my bag fills me with as much dread as approaching a new border. The idea that I once enjoyed queuing for aeons until some sceptical official held my fate in their hands is odd.
My passport has plenty of stamps.
My thing these days is the slow burn of contentment yielded from staying somewhere 1-3 months, or maybe a year or two. I’m not in a rush.
It takes time to make real friendships and to learn the local language. Not just speaking the words, but speaking with the eyes and with the heart. To not just hear the rhythm of a culture, but to dance to it.
To immerse yourself as if diving deep into an ocean, instead of a quick shower.
I geek out tinkering with new routines.
I find fun testing a completely different lifestyle. I require time to myself to settle into being creative. I need time to allow the novel place to surprise me with new forms of self-expression.
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My heart truly sings going back to places I have been, to breathe fresh life into the old friendships I already have.
To learn of the trials and tribulations my fellow souls have experienced as we traverse the same moments in time but in completely different places.
To see progress and stagnation.
To see heartbreak and elation.
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I am much wiser within myself for my choices, but who am I to judge the wisdom of others for their preferences of travel?
I can only laugh at how much I would dislike someone else’s choices, but I could never say their choice is wrong.
III 🚵♀️
Alastair Humphreys used to live for macho adventures, crossing deserts and abandoned wildernesses, risking life and limb to feel alive.
His eyes would light up at the opportunity to push the boundaries of his body. Interest would only register in expeditions where he didn’t even know if he could do it. To be so remote from the rest of the world felt like connecting with what it means to be human.
Now he likes to be based at home and see his kids every day.
For adventure, he finds thrill enough in the simple joys of climbing a tree and jumping in rivers. Camping on a nearby hill instead of his bed and waking at sunrise is just as much a night under the stars.
The relative distance between you and the sun or the stars is so unfathomably massive. The distance between your house and a hill on the other side of the world is almost inconsequential bigger than the distance to a hill out the back door.
The effect of looking at the universe is much the same.
He is very wise within himself.
(Note - Alastair is the pioneer of the concept of Micro-Adventures. The National Geographic explorer of the year 2012. Author of +10 books, anyone of which I highly recommend)
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It doesn’t mean that I, or anyone else, is wrong per se to cycle round the world or row the Atlantic or kayak the Yukon. These are things Alastair has done himself in years past, he no longer holds the same need for them now and is wiser for his choices.
When he was younger, Alastair was perfectly wise within himself to do the things that made him happy.
He is wise now to do different things that make him happy.
He wouldn’t look down on me as foolish as such, just at a different point in my time and preferences. Perhaps a similar path.
IV 🧙♀️
People can find joy in an activity that we are now much too wise or mature to delight in. They are not necessarily foolish.
In the future, our current actions will seem very naive to our older and wiser selves. It may even feel like we were wasting our time, carelessly fritting it away with no appreciation for what it means to live a truly good life.
Foolishness is not changing with the seasons of our life.
Wisdom is reacting to our shifts in desires and needs correctly.
Foolishness is doing things we think will make us happy but do not.
Wisdom is making choices that most align with our happiness at the time.
We can’t decide for someone else what is the wisest choice, because we can’t know their preferences, or the path they should be on.
If they are clearly depressed because of their actions we can help them find their way. Not ‘the way’ and not ‘our way’, but to find ‘a way’, the one that will become ‘their way’.
If they often become angry or sad due to avoidable and self-inflicted choices, we might find a way to help them see their foleys.
We can’t judge the path they choose to solve their problems.
When they need to change we can only lend them a hand to speed them along in whichever direction they wish to go in.
V 🧘♀️
Maturity is knowing that you honestly know nothing.
Everything you need to teach others lies in your patience and kindness.
Everything they need to know, they will teach themselves.
With a wise friend to help them, they will find it soon enough.
If we find ourselves perched on a high horse, it is time to get off it. It is not our place, it is not our obligation and it is not our duty to elevate others to our level.
Wiser to keep them centred on whatever level that’s right for them at the time. Not to hastily push them off in search of new wisdom for wisdom’s sake.
What use is behaving like an 80-year-old when your 10? So why is it any less absurd to behave like a 50-year-old, when you’re 45?
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Our only duty, if there is one at all, is to add power to whatever they do.
To add speed to the currents of their life when they need to flow. To help build the damns to hold themselves in place when they need stability. Help them find the best chance of being in the right place at the right time.
Appreciating their moment and nothing else.
Have you seen how dull grown-ups are? They have no imagination. They never run around. They never climb trees. They always tell us to “Be careful! Slow down! Calm down.”
Us kids are braver, more active and always ready for adventure. I never want to be like an adult.The Girl who rowed the Ocean - Alastair Humphreys
Personal Update
I spent 6 weeks of summer cycling around Europe having too much fun.
The plan
I recorded various antics and plan to start a YouTube documenting my adventures and telling positive and silly stories.
My dream is to pioneer a living as a full-time creator.
How it’s going
I’ve been learning video editing and released my first Tik Tok yesterday as part of a strategy to test content ideas and build an audience.
Somehow I went viral on Instagram (100k views in a day) and barely got anyone to watch on Tik Tok (not even 100). I’m playing the long game so no worries.
Feel free to follow either:
- TikTok
- Instagram
I haven’t released any adventures on YouTube YET, but you can watch my stand up comedy on there and maybe perhaps follow me if the feeling takes you.