We have goals and ideas for our future. Things don’t always go to plan.
Most of our failures come down to a detachment from reality.
This lack of awareness appears in two major ways:
Unrealistic ideas of what is going to happen
Not ready for the moment
Poor appreciation that I am now in the specific moment I had imagined in my future
1 - Unrealistic ideas
In our minds, we see success and happiness all coming at us much faster and easier than reality.
Imagination is lovely.
Reality is slower and full of mundane unexciting stuff. The experience of the journey is duller than we imagine. The destination can be short lived we might find it was something we don’t even want.
Realising that an idea wasn’t what we wanted is usually the moment it fails.
(see Journey vs. Destination and Dreaming vs. Doing for a full low-down)
2 - Not ready for the moment
Awareness is elusive. The fact that this is the very moment we had planned for slips us by.
The stuff your mind tells you about what you will do in the future is mostly there to make you feel good. It isn’t actually meant to change your life. These thoughts give you the feeling that the future will be great, which means any problems with the current situation are also fine.
Whether it was that diet you were going to start or a career break after hitting a milestone.
Those are ideas that make whatever you’re doing now feel okay.
When that moment in the future becomes today, you are supposed to do something different.
What actually happens:
Reality has more pain.
You weren’t so hungry in that future moment when you’d eat less.
I’ll just start tomorrow.Other times reality is scarier.
In our imagination, we were brave enough to casually approach that good-looking person.
Currently, feel shy and awkward. Why are no clever words coming to mind?!?Perhaps we are just busy.
Carving out that magical hour for our writing or exercise slips by till next year.
Everything is so hectic, but it will be easier in the future.Often we simply forget.
It doesn’t even register that we are supposed to be doing something different.
When was I meant to become fluent in Spanish!
It’s weird because there are no physical limits blocking us.
It’s mostly just:
lack of planning
lack of knowing what to do
lack of making room to do the thing
lack of accountability to a deadline
Mostly I just don’t know where the start line is or where to fit something in with the other things that are going on.
It takes a while to adjust to a new state
I have been writing the newsletter weekly for 30 weeks now. Finally, it doesn’t feel like a surprise for me that here I am writing at this moment. (there was a little 3 months where I went AWOL 😅)
Other things I plan in my head to do that can be more elusive for a long time.
An athletic challenge, a change of country or starting my YouTube.
Things that are purely my responsibility, with no one else involved.
Everything required to jump from my imagination to reality is on my plate
If I have never done it before, it is hard to imagine exactly what it entails.
This leads to poor planning to make all the things happen in the moments they should happen in. Time flies by as I scratch my head.
The more you do something the easier it gets
Things improve once I’ve done something a few times and know where it might fit into my day or week. I can decide on a schedule and when it has to be done.
People find out about what I’m doing because they ask me. It’s part of my identity. I literally write a newsletter. This increases accountability.
It all starts to gather momentum.
How to progress faster
Get it out of your head
Relying on mental notes is a total fail!
The older I get the more I’m afraid of my consciousness's ability to lie to me.
Write out a schedule + Tell people about it.
Allocate 4x more time than you expect and make sacrifices.
The only thing stopping you from doing anything is ultimately yourself.
Cohort learning
If you tried starting a task/idea but often fail, I’d honestly recommend joining a cohort.
You pay some money. They give you a schedule you already want to follow. It’s like signing up for a marathon in the new skill you want to have.
You have peers on the same journey and accountability. You’re pushed to move faster and harder than you would alone.
They also answer the important “What do I do now?” questions as you have them, so you don’t fall off.
They don’t do the work for you, but they make you aware that you are here right now with a job to do.
This is that moment you allocated for making that change. You can’t hide behind the flaws of your elusive ideas that this is easier to start tomorrow.
Some handy resources and cohorts:
Writing:
Free Guide - Ultimate Writing Guide
$650 Cohort - Ship30for30 (starts next year)
YouTube
Free Guide - Ali Abdaal - Beginner YouTube (Skillshare 1 free month)
$250 Cohort - CreatorNow (starts today…)
Podcasting
Free Guide - Podcast growth blueprint
$1500 Cohort - Podcast marketing academy (starts next year)
Coaching
Another great option is having a weekly call with a coach to quiz you about all your private plans. They sit with you to write them out and check on your progress. Simple but effective.
On a budget? You honestly don’t need an expert coach to solve most of your problems. The answers are all within you. You just need a coach who isn’t an idiot and will listen to you.
If you are trying to do something monumentally difficult or out of your skillset, then pay for the best you can.
(Note - If your issues are more personal then replace the word ‘coach’ with ‘therapist’ 👍)
Accountability groups
If you know some friends on a similar path to you, start a small group (5 max) where you lay out your plans together.
You need people who are genuinely interested in you achieving your goal. You need to do the same in return.
👍 - This is completely free
👎 - It is the easiest to slide into ‘not quite happening’
You need to plan to actually catch up and keep track of each others goals. If you don’t it falls into the same box as your plans that you were a little too busy for.
A coach sets a calendar event that you paid for each week.
Your mate has a life to get on with.
You can up the stakes using the Stickk App by putting money on the line if you fail. As long as you do the thing then it is still free.
Others you probably know…
Meditation
Journalling
Time blocks in calendar
Goal tracking - (setting goals is good, checking and reviewing is key)
Future letters to yourself - Epic reminders of what you were thinking about
Booking events (e.g. sign up to a marathon)
Reality ✅
There are plenty of ways to keep yourself aware of reality.
I hope these ideas helped and let me know if you use anything to stop your imagination getting the better of you.
Personal update time
I finally launched my YouTube channel with a comedy sketch about the idiocy of what I’m up to.
If you like sarcasm and Steven Bartlett jokes I hope you enjoy it. If you don’t like grown men in dresses, it’s not for you…